This Is What 35 Weeks Does NOT Look Like On Me

I am huge. I am swollen. I am sweaty and sticky and rubbing together. I have body parts that have never been introduced to each other and they are now happily stuck together in a sweaty love affair. Unwillingly at first, but getting used to it now. I consider the heat before I do anything. And usually can talk myself out of most anything because of it. I am unreasonable. And forgetful. And short tempered. And impatient. And miserable because I know all of this. I am restless. Tired. Anxious. And finished. And I still have a month to go.

I wake up from sleeping on six pillows, two propped between my legs just to avoid rolling over from the weight of my belly or the weight of my huge ass pulling me from side to side, and I am still tired. I pee on a regular schedule and it is less than one hour intervals. I dream psychotic dreams when I do manage to fall asleep at all. I hate night time. And while I lay there awake, I just think about how badly I need this sleep because the baby isn't going to sleep. Ever. And then I just get pissed and move to the couch or recliner or even the kids bedroom and think about how great it's going to be to not be pregnant again. Ever.

Every time I go anywhere, somebody asks me all cheery, "Oh, cute! When are you due?" To which I force myself to answer civily that my due date is September 25th. They then either squeal a little bit or jump a little bit and cheer me on like it's not that far away. Not that far away? How long has it been since they were so fat and hot and sweaty that they had to apply deoderant to body parts that stick together and baby powder to other parts that rub together because of the 50 pounds that I have managed to pack on for this kid? Have they worn a winter coat and went to Albertsons when it's 98 degrees with a 3 year old in a walking cast and a 5 year old telling you every move to make? Have they sat on the edge of a pool in a swim suit trying not to traumatize the onlookers by holding onto the bottom of your tankini to avoid the belly popping out and scaring the small children? Have they tried every possible remedy for water retention only to keep getting fatter and fatter toes? I am seriously down to two pairs of nasty ass plastic white trash flip flops right now. I do not fit into anything. I have out grown my maternity clothes. And yet, I am still trying to get dressed, wear make up and keep it on my sweaty face. I feel so bad for the people who have to be around me right now because I am at the end of my positive attitude rope. In fact, I"m pretty sure I'm not even hanging onto the end of it any more. I am done. And yet, I still have 4-5 weeks left. Topped off with natural, drug free labor for the third time. Nothing like knowing what's coming and going for it anyways. And that's my gripe for the evening.

This quote just makes me stop and think

“If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware. The tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered around the house, the piles and piles of laundry lying around to be tackled, will disappear all too soon. And, you will, to your surprise, miss them profoundly.”~President Thomas S. Monson

I have to say that I just love August. I have always always loved this month, and it is, to this day, my favorite month of the year. For some reason, the air just smells better to me. The late summer nights are not quite as intense, but still warm and pleasant. It is still very much summer, but fall is barely beginning to poke into the frames of minds of most people. All good things that have happened to me have happened to me in August. My birthday is August 24th, I have started school every year of my life in August (and yes, I am one of those "nerds" who look forward to schoo starting), I moved to Montana and started my adult life in August, I started my first teaching job and got married in August and Cameron was born this month as well. Tucker was nine days short of being an August baby as well, but his due date was August 4th, so close enough.

And this year, I am anxiously awaiting August 26th, because that's when Cameron gets to start kindergarten. And I have nothing but positive feelings towards this huge event. Can't wait for her to go and learn and love school, but yesterday we were trying on school clothes and all of a sudden, I realized how much she's grown up. She's not a baby anymore, and while I never thought I would say this, time has seriously been flying by. She informed me she wants Sketcher Twinkle Toes for her school shoes. When did she become old enough to decide on her own school shoes? For god sakes, I looked at them, and first thing that I wanted to say was, "Those are absolutely hideous." And they are. But this is what the kids are wearing. And she wants them. And I didn't say a word. I was simply dumb founded that she in fact knows what Sketcher Twinkle Toes are. Of course, I now know it's because two neighbor kids have them and they have been wearing them. But I still can't believe she picked up on the "Everbody's wearing them" attitude, and she's five. This is going to be an interesting year. And of course, I will probably break down and get the shoes if I can find them on sale, but for now, I really just want her to want the shoes that I want and wear the shoes that I think a five year old would want to wear. And not make me feel like I'm old and out of date by thinking these shoes are hideous. I guess this is part of being a Mom that I'm about to begin to experience on a regular basis.

This one explains my ability to procrastinate

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to live in the days before computers and texting and facebook. I consider myself to be a fairy productive person, most of the time, but the amount of time that I continue to waste on a repeat basis on facebook has gotten out of hand. When I say Facebook, I mean all social networking, including blogs, including online "browsing", and including basically any sort of time wasting activity online. When I wake up, I have to check out my e-mails, when I have a break during the late morning, I run up to check facebook.

I wonder what my procrastination style would have looked like if I were a housewife in the late 1800's or even the 1950's. Would I be so much more productive that I am now? Or would I have simply found a new way to waste time?

Regardless of this question, I have decided that I am so over facebook for more than one reason, but the first being just this. I feel so productive when my internet goes down and I actually get a room cleaned that wasn't on my scrambling list of things to do that day. Or, when, god forbid, I kick back with a book for a few minutes in the afternoon. I never do that anymore, because I'm always on the damn computer.

The other reason that I am over facebook is the incessant whining that goes on on there. Before facebook, I didn't realize how whiny humans are as a whole. I'm tired of it. I have actually gone so far as to block certain individuals, just because I can't handle the whining. And then I still continue to wonder what they might have been saying that day anyways.

And if it's not the whining, then it's the bragging. "I love my life", "I have the best husband ever" and so on.

Another thing that I dislike about facebook is when you have these so called "friends" and you know everything about them because of their posts, but then you see them in real life and you're not sure if you should mention their crazy Aunt Lucy who passed away this week or not. Because really, you're not that close to them anyways. It's just an awkward social situation.

And lastly, you can't do ANYTHING without somebody talking about it, or tagging a photo of it, or linking up to it. And I'm tired of it. I don't want the whole world knowing what I did for lunch today and who I did it with. And I'm not even doing anything out of the ordinary.

My overall opinion of facebook is that it's a nasty habit that I am working on kicking. It enables people to know too much about someone. And it wastes my time. Just think of all the time I could have if I wasn't obsessed with finding out who is having a wonderful day or a terrible day today, whose kid finally went potty on the potty chair, and whose great Aunt will be terribly missed.

Once again, I apologize for the hormonal rant. It's probably just pregnancy hormones, but this is what I'm feeling today. Maybe I'll go post that on facebook.

This one is about my girl

Between a little girl's birthday party during the day, a family get together later that evening, and Tucker getting his foot broken playing football with my 17 year old brother during the party, we had quite the busy, exhausting, and eventful 5th birthday party for Cameron. Can't believe she's five. Seems like just yesterday.....well, here are some shots of yesterday for ya....

Sorry, no birth photo here, I didn't have a digital camera until she was nine months old, can you believe that? So here is one when she is about 11 months old, just starting to walk and full of life. Sorry it's sideways, exhausted and not going to take the time to flip it.


And here she is just barely two and ready to be the flower girl for the SECOND time in Uncle Jake and Aunt Ashley's wedding.

And birthday number three, which was one of my favorite parties. She was into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so we did a Minnie Party. She knew this was her big day and she seriously was all sunshine and smiles.

And my big girl turning four. I can't help but picture her when she's 16. Can you say gorgeous? Of course I'm predjudice, but she's just turning into such a cutie. This year was all about pink, pink, and more pink. Complete with a princess party and the princess castle cake that I seriously worked on for 12 hours at night, while she slept so it would be a surprise.

And now, she's five. Not a baby anymore. Ready for school and learning and loving life. She's such a joy and keeps me happy because she wants to be with me ALL. THE. TIME. Whether it's crafts, baking, cleaning, painting toes, whatever I'm doing, she wants to do it with me. It can be exhausting, but in the end, I savor every minute, because she's only five once and pretty soon she'll have better things to do than hang with mom.


So this is where we're at in life. Seems like just a blink of the eye. We had a wonderful time celebrating birthdays. It's exhausting to have both kids back to back, but so special because we really get into birthday "Mode" and make a big deal about each kid. And then it's over and it's time to pack away the party streamers and not worry about it again until next year.

Of course, I just got the party streamers packed away today because as soon as we got up the morning after Cameron's birthday, I had an OB appointment in Boise, then turned around and picked up Tucker back in Emmett and headed back over the hill to the Orthopaedic Clinic to look at his foot, which I was sure I was overreacting about, but you know that lingering feeling you get when you just KNOW something is wrong? Like an ear infection and you go to the doctor and you say, "He's not really sick, I just know." And you're right? Well this was one of those things. I kept thinking about his foot and was sure it was in fact, broken. And it was. In three places. He was playing football with my brother and things got a little wild. High school quarterback lands on my babies foot. hard. He wouldn't walk on it, he just crawled around the house. Still smiling, my easy going Tucker. But now he's in a walking cast for three weeks and using it like there isn't anything there at all. Kids are resiliant, that's all I can say. And I got my first taste of broken bones way before sports started. Boys will be boys, I guess.

This post makes me smile

This talks about Tucker turning 3

Yesterday was a milestone with my baby. Tucker is officially three. I still think of Tucker as my baby even though this new baby is quickly preparing to enter my world. Still, Tucker is in fact, still the baby for about 9 (hopefully 7) more weeks and it makes me sad in a bittersweet way that he is all grown up.

When he was born, I had never worked so hard through anything in my life. Labor with Tucker was just that...LABOR. Intense and painful and hard damn work. And drug free. And when he finally got here, through a series of positions and turns and prayers, he was the sweetest, smallest, cutest little thing. And he has been that way ever since.

Tucker has taught me a lot about parenting that I didn't learn from Cameron. And visa versa. When Tucker came along, I couldn't help but slow down and just savor the moment. Mostly because I truly thought we were done having kids and wanted to enjoy the baby stage as long as possible.

And yesterday we celebrated three years and he's not little anymore. In fact, he's growing like a weed this summer and cute as can be. We went to McDonald's for Happy Meals with our friends Cailey and Cayden and then home for a rest. When Daddy finally got home from work, we opened a few presents and he was tickled to death with what he got. Happy and excited always is Tucker.

This Saturday we are having a Disney Car's bash for the family. And when I say family, remember we both have brothers and sisters (who have kids) and parents in town along with extended family of four great grandmas and various friends and others who usually pop up. So we plan for about 40 people and we go all out. Because, we are not partiers for any other occassion, but for the kiddos birthdays, we find reason to celebrate them.

We are fixing hot dogs and a variety of chorizos and sausages along with salads and the much anticipated watermelon. Okay, probably just me wanting that watermelon, but if you can't find me during the party, I have been known to chop one in half and eat it with a spoon right out of the rind. Check in the shade, it's supposed to be 102 on Saturday and I'm always hot.

Pictures to follow, although probably not of me mowing down on the watermelon.

Deep Thoughts from Vacation Bible School

This week I am teaching the preschool portion of our church's Annual Vacation Bible School. I'm not particularly fond of teaching preschool. They are tiny and needy and you can practically gurantee one of them has to pee and one of them is crying at all times. But, it is rewarding and they love everything you do with them, if only for about two minutes. I sometimes feel like I am dancing circles on a stage trying to keep them all engaged. You can't give them busy work when they are three because they don't know how to keep busy. They can't cut particularly well. They can't color very well. They can't write their names. They can't operate a glue stick. And they absolutely cannot follow directions. So, with this in mind, I am reaching for just about any activity that lasts about two minutes that somehow incorporates their limited knowledge of the bible and Egypt and Joseph. I have no curriculum except for what the older kids are doing. I have simply geared down down down and tried to make it exciting.

Today I had 17 of them. All excited to be there, our first activity was the simple task of getting them seated on blue painters tape in the shape of a circle. We then proceeded to practice our VBS songs with the help of drumsticks. They love to drum. Then we attempted to revisit the story of Joseph in Prison. Guess what? None of these kids (praise God) knew what Prison was. And I'm pretty sure they didn't know what jail was either. Apparantly I'm the only bad mother who threatens that if their kids don't wear their seatbelts, they'll go to jail. I'm not sure how effective this chat was, but we moved on to arts and crafts, which involved decorating Egyptian style collars and Gold cuffs for their arms with plastic rhinestones. The boys could have cared less, the girls....well, it was one step away from picking the engagement ring of their choice. Apparantly, no matter what age, a girl knows some good bling when she sees some and there were some tears over the pink heart shaped jewels. See, this is where I fail miserably at teaching preschool, because, while I pride myself on transition and flow and accurate lesson plans, I don't have a lot of patience for the tears and the tattling. Therefore, I ignore it, which only proves to make it multiply and grow in decible. Thank God my other sister, Leanne, is also helping in my class, because apparantly God gave her all the compassion because she was able to calm them down. Not the first time that I have ignored the drama and she has been able to calm a hysterical person down. I don't know why I'm such a hard ass like that. And yet, here I am teaching preschool.

After arts and crafts, we were mostly all in tears so it was time for a recharge, which included moving outside for some fresh air, and a go-gurt and some fruit punch. And then we were all smiling again, sugar charged and ready to pee. So back into the bathrooms, where we had bathroom helpers and it was a group ordeal to get all 17 pottied and washed and zipped and back in place on the blue tape.

The day continued pretty much like this. And while I am exhausted, it is one of the most rewarding things that I do. I am headed downstairs to finish cutting out Joseph's coats of many colors for a project for tomorrow, because, as I mentioned above, not one in 17 has the ability to cut.

And to top it all off, my daughter, who is out with the big kids, was telling me about Joseph and how mean his 11 brothers were to him and so on and so on about prison and slavery, etc. And in the middle of feeling bad for Joseph, she immediately says, "I have to poop." and she's off. So while moved, poop takes priority over Joseph every day of the week in our house. And we still have four days of VBS to go.