Are You Kidding Me?

So in preparation for the hours spent nursing and staying up all night, I have been TiVo-ing things that I normally would not waste time or mental energy on. I just finished watching the entire show from episode 1 to the end of Friday Night Lights and then it was on to Sister Wives. A TLC show that was advertised heavily and had been promoted on shows such as The Today Show. I was not prepared for what I was about to experience.

This is the show about the Brown Family. Except the family consists of one father, and 12 kids, one on the way to make 13, and wait for it....THREE wives. Obviously, I knew from the advertisements that this was a reality series about a Fundamentalist Mormon Family living their polygamist life style in Utah. What I was not prepared for was the utter disgust I would feel when watching this guy interact with his wives. In all my 29 years, I have never felt the urge to label somebody as a "Douche Bag", but there is not a better label for this guy.

Seriously. The guy skips around his house like the happiest man ever. And I guess you would be if you were getting laid every night without fail, because, well, if one isn't going to put out, you can bet just down the hall he can find one that will. Although,they explain about the "Every third night" rotation that they are on. And each is very protective of her long awaited for time with this jackass. I just can't believe the three of them don't just gang up on him and say enough already, what does this look like, the breeding pen at the County Fair? And it basically is, because there are 12 kids, 13 is on the way, as we all get to experience in the second episode. Gag.

These women are brainwashed to the max. Two grew up in this lifestyle, the other I guess just woke up one day and decided she had to have this stud. And he's not very attractive, kind of metrosexual, and kind of bald when he flips back his sexy mane in an attempt to "court" his harem of women.

And it is all about the "courting" as we soon find out. He is skipping out on his love time with the wives to "court" a new one that lives five hours away. And this gal is seriously his soon to be Trophy Wife. Because no good polygamist would be happy with three who have beared his children and might have gained some weight, look tired and haggard from the incessant amouts of children that run through the house, and are still trying to be the perfect wife for Mr. Jackhole. But only every third night.

This gal may be hot, but she comes with some baggage, and that would be three more kids, which I guess will just get thrown into the pot of "Brothers from another Mother" and "Sisters from the same Mister". But the women happily welcome her to the nightly sex cycle, they all go to taste wedding cake together, and even buy her a special ring to welcome her to the "Sisterhood". Once again, I am trying not to vomit while I watch this whole train wreck continue through seven episodes. And of course I'm hooked, but not in a mentally healthy way. I have to keep watching because if I ever see this guy in public, I would seriously have a difficult time not just walking up to him and punching him right in his very fertile nuts. And of course I'm wondering why I just dedicated not only seven hours of viewing time, but an entire blog post to this Douche Bag and his poor wives. And I conclude that if you're looking for something new and entertaining to waste your time on, then this show is for you. Or, if you ever wondered what people mean when they call somebody a "Douche Bag", then this show is absolutely the perfect answer to the question.

And that's my rant for the day.